hurt

my pulse is racing, the vessels throbbing in my head. pain is a definite, but why? i know there's got to be some caloric link here, that my eating schedule isn't working, that the agony is preventable. i keep taking the stairs, focused. emerging from underground, smoke and smells nearly floor me. the pungent incense leaves me gasping for breath. why did i do this to myself?

like coming back to life

i'm struggling to capture exactly what has happened to me. perhaps the best way to fail to explain it properly would be to say that the grey shifted back to color, but that doesn't seem quite right. i killed a hot pepper plant this summer, completely forgot to water it, and there's nothing now that can save it. imagine though, if pouring water in the dirt could actually bring that plant back to life. i think that's why i can't reconcile what's happened to me. i feel like that life giving water's been poured over me, then slowly worked its way out to my ears, down into my legs, reanimating me. the problem is, i know people don't work like that, and even plants can't always be saved - sometimes they're too far dead.